Unfortunately there are a lot of people who just are not a part of my life anymore. The effort just wasn’t put in to keep in touch so there are few people from my past who are a part of my life now. The few people who are still in my life, are people who I don’t want to let go of.
I’m lucky I guess that I haven’t had a particular person make my life hell. There’s been points in my life where I felt things were pretty bad and it was based on how I felt I was treated by others but now when I look back I realize that I played a very big part in the exclusion and I have decided that there really is no point in thinking about the past. It’s the past and there is nothing I can do to change things.
I couldn’t pick a particular person but I guess I would have to say my family. I haven’t had any one individual person make a big impact on my life but my family has always been there.
There are a lot of awful things I never want to have to deal with in my life and I don’t even want to think about them. One thing though I will say I don’t want to do is go through life being on my own. I look forward to living on my own in the not too distance future but I do hope that I find someone to spend the rest of my life with and I don’t have to wait too long.
I hope to have my own family someday. I’ve always wanted to be a mom, always has been my biggest ambition. So now to find the right guy…
I’m not going to pick one individual or one instance but the big thing for me is I have to let go and forgive people from my past that have hurt me by excluding me or making me feel second best. I also have to accept that I did also contribute to my own isolation in the past by not putting myself out there. Regrets are pointless and get me nowhere. I just have to surround myself with people who do want to include me and let me know that I matter to them.
This is a hard one, I think what I have to forgive myself for is letting my nerves get to me and making me miss out on experiences in the past. I have to let the past go and move on. And I have to believe everything happens for a reason and hope that things start happening for me soon lol.
I hate that I have no confidence and I worry about every little thing. I know I stress myself out about things that don’t matter at all but I can’t help it. I really need to work on letting things just happen and realizing sometimes there is nothing I can do about it. And I need to learn how to believe in myself more which would help me come out of my shell and not have such a difficult time in social situations.
Something I like about myself is that I’m driven to succeed. I keep at something until I feel I have done the best that I can. On the flipside to this though is it adds to the pressure I put on myself. I know I have high expectations for myself at times which stresses me out.
Something I could never get tired of doing is listening to music. I like all types of music and love having something to listen to in the background no matter what I’m doing. No matter my mood, I can always find something to listen to.