Brittany's Blog

A place to share my thoughts on my life & my work

Day 30 – A picture of you last year, how you have changed since then.

September 2009

September 2009

Don’t have a picture from last November but this was in the beginning of September 2009.  I don’t think I have changed that much since then other than the basic fact that I am no longer in school anymore and I have  found a job related to what I went to school for.  Also my hair is different lol.

Day 29 – A picture that can always make you smile.

This picture is just so adorable it can always make me smile.  :)

Day 28 – Something you’re afraid of.

Failure

hate being "evaluated" in any way

For me, failure is my biggest fear.  I get incredibly anxious whenever I get into a situation where I am being evaluated / tested.  I am horrible under pressure and even if I am able to do something, when I’m being watched I’ll screw it up.  Since I worry so much already about everything, that doesn’t help, so being afraid of failing really makes it difficult to do anything where I am getting evaluated.  It makes it extra stressful for me when starting a new job, it was really hard for me and extremely stressful for me to book my road tests (such a relief now that I am fully licensed) and it’s even stressful driving with friends because I feel like I’m being evaluated.  It was stressful writing tests in school even though I generally did well all the way through school.  It even kinda feels like I might fail when meeting new people.  This all adds up to my lack of confidence, shyness and excessive worrying.  Hopefully with age I won’t be so afraid of failing…it’s only natural to worry about something like that but it shouldn’t prevent me from trying things.  Well and now that I’m older I won’t be in as many “testing” type scenarios so that should help too.

Day 27 – A picture of yourself and a family member.

me and my grandma Laughlin
Me & Grandma Laughlin
Me & Grandma Douglas

Me & Grandma Douglas

Day 26 – A picture of something that means a lot to you.

they mean a lot to me

my family and friends

My family and friends mean a lot to me.  Couldn’t just choose one, and the people in my life are a lot more important than any “thing” in my life.

Day 25 – A picture of your day.

my typical day

my typical day

This pretty much sums up a typical day for me, working on a computer.  And even when I’m at home, I spend a lot of my time on the computer lol.

Day 24 – Something you wish you could change.

confidence

confidence

I would like to change my lack of confidence.  It makes me not try things, fail at things I should be capable of and worry about failing excessively.  I don’t like trying new things, mainly because I have zero confidence in my ability to succeed.  There are many things that I should believe I am capable of, because I am but I doubt myself and in turn end up failing just like I feared I would.  It’s a vicious cycle and my lack of confidence is the main cause.

Day 23 – Your favourite book.

It’s really hard to choose my favourite book because I have become a very avid reader and love so many books but I would have to say that anything by Ellen Hopkins or Nicholas Sparks and The Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlaine Harris would have to be at the top of the list.

Ellen Hopkins

The latest book of Ellen Hopkins young adult novels (lists her other novels at the bottom)

Nicholas Sparks

Nicholas Sparks novels

Charlaine Harris

Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse Series (True Blood on HBO)

I also like the authors Mitch Albom, Kelley Armstrong and the Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer.

Day 22 – Something you wish you were better at.

Socially Awkward

Socially Awkward

I wish I was better at socializing, I’ve never been very comfortable in social situations and starting a conversation with people I don’t know is not something I’m very good at.  I’d like to be better at meeting new people so I could have a better social life because right now I don’t have many friends, and definitely not people who are living around here, so it makes for very boring spare time.

Day 21 – Something you wish you could forget.

Third Wheel

The Third Wheel

I can’t think of any one event in particular but there were many times growing up, when going to school was not fun because of how the other kids treated me.  Never really found out what I did to anyone to make them be so rude to me, but it would have made going to school a lot more enjoyable.  Grade 12 was not enjoyable at all, so I guess in general I’d like to forget how it felt to always be second choice to everyone or always be the third wheel or on the outside, it’s something I’d like to put out of my mind permanently and it’s a fact that I’d like to put out of my mind in the future because I still often feel that way…